Search This Blog

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Metro sexual Men: Arched eyebrows, body waxing, nail polish....Butt lifts?

Do you spend a lot of time finding the best clothing and accessories for your wardrobe?

Are your nails always cleanly manicured and taken care of?

Do you always have and use the best skin care and hair care products?

Do you make sure that you only dine at the finest restaurants and shop at the best stores?

Do you have a hairstylist that knows you by name, or even the whole salon knows you be name?

If all or most of the above questions had you nodding yes you just may be a true metrosexual!

Men Have Questions Too….


Ladies, men are just as apprehensive about relationships as you are, wondering what are the true intentions of the woman.

You have been given a few set of questions to ask and avoid from some relationship experts such as Steve Harvey, but are you having success?

This morning on his radio show during his dating game segment, a young man asked a contestant: “What do you like to do for fun?” Steve, said under his breath: “Don’t answer that question” implying that if you tell a man what you like is giving him the key to your heart. In other words, he would do just that until he get the cookie and then move on to the next victim. The young man laughed as if he knew what Steve was talking about, but based on my research; his laugh and silence indicated something totally different that I will explain later in this article.

I understand the essence of the question and know that Steve has a good heart and only wants to help. I love his show and been uplifted and helped personally myself. But my research speaks for men and I’m here to tell you that his question and response is unchallenged. When challenged directly with men as I do in the field daily, depending on the age of the man, he usually asks the question, “What do you like to do for fun,” to gauge other things than being cynical about his intent. In other words, young men under 30 grew up listening to songs like “Can you pay my bills”, “No Scrubbs” and “What Have you done for me lately.” His views of women are a lot different than of men over 30. He would usually ask this question for the following reason given in my research:

• To see if she enjoys the same things as he does.
• To see if he can afford her fun level, e.g. what if she says “I love to travel”. Well he knows that this costs money and he may not be in that income bracket yet? He would usually move on to someone else less expensive.
• He simply wants to please her.
• To determine if they are socially compatible.

Men over 30 who are working and have a steady gig would not mind the travel response.

Think about this, if a guys does the things you like isn’t that what you want? Can you gauge his intent in other ways? What if he is good in answering questions? What do you have in your relationship owner’s manual anyway? Do you list the things you like and your non-negotiables? Do you expect the man who wants to spend time with you and commit to want to do those things?

Please understand that men are looking for women who are their intellectual equal too and have the same social values. Again, he is apprehensive about your intent too and looking for a woman who is real and not just trying to game him.

Let me tell you what happens if you answer that question with the type of man you like especially if you are dealing with a Black man. “If you say something like, I’m looking for a man who is kind and courteous” and he asked you “what do you like to do for fun or the things you like”. This is the response you will get in the man’s mind based on my out in the field research of Black men:

“She is playing mind games”, “She seems crazy”, “She seems uppity and stuck-up”, “She is trying to make me feel stupid” or “She is one of those types who will be difficult to deal with” These were from average working brothers looking for a good woman. I mean a good man. I’ve heard this from above average men too.

But for the brothers who are above average, more educated and have great communication skills. They answered all of the questions with pride and then went directly into an intellectual competition with that woman answering and asking questions. The questioning became a challenge within itself and these brothas are very competitive. Do you know what I noticed what happened next. He lost interest in that woman after she became less challenging and competitive based on my research. Now if this woman was confident, approachable and knows how to give compliments and is engaging, this is the way to these types of brothas heart while getting those questions answered. However, I’ve seen many cases where these brothas said all of the right things, waiting for sex and still took the cookie and ran. These are all the men who love a challenge. This is another article.

Ladies, just tell a man what you like and simply have standards. Do not just say that you do, just have them. He understands that you are lady-like and would treat you accordingly. His questions are NOT THAT CYNICAL!!! All of these upfront questions are not creating success for most women out here. Don’t get me wrong, ask the questions, but be more engaging at the same time. Be a confident, but fun person and look for the right time to get your questions answered. Please do not interrogate these brothas, they are walking away thinking that you are trouble based on my research.

Just know the men in the dating scene have questions too and are not just looking for the cookie. Stop coming off like they all are and watch how you will appear fun and engaging and have your pick of a good man. Why, because he would simply like hanging with you.

Why that brother on the radio show laughed at Steve’s response and did not comment on the whys behind his question? Well, he did not have a clue what Steve was talking about and did not want to look or sound stupid especially on a national radio show, or attempt to challenge Steve. In his heart, he had good intentions. He more than likely asked the question based on the reasons in this article with pure intentions. How do I know, well think about this: why would he ask a question like that on a national radio show where probably his family, mother and friends were listening, if he felt that it was inappropriate? He believed that it was appropriate because men, especially those under 30 usually ask that question to women all the time in the field. We can not sit on a pedestal and judge them. These young men ask that question without the intent that Steve implied.

Coping with Laid back Men


Hello, I would like the men to help me out. How does a women deal with a man who is laid back, quite, selfish. It's been a year of dating. He tells me the playing his PSP relieves his stress. He feels that being in the house at the same time is being together. His interest to me is his car, his MAC pc's, IPhone and his PSP and going to the movies three to four times a month. He’s 41, good career, but poor communication skills that I have notice over a year long relationship.

I entered this relationship with intension of longevity. I’m very open and likes to communicate not complain as he would state. I do what I do in our relationship because I don’t have a problem giving my 100% in the relationship. Yes, I cook (at least 4 times a week), keep our home clean, wash clothes (his when I want to). I’m there for him to meet his needs. I’m beautiful inside and out, educated and want nothing but the BEST for our relationship.

Are there any TIPS out there?

Not sure how long I will hang around.

The Black / Latino Connection: Are Latina women more sexual and open-minded?

Everyone needs a little spice in their life. A subtle change here and there just to keep the sex life interesting... But does the change you need to make mean dating a new ethnicity? They say that “once you go black you never go back," but what about when you go Latino?

Has being with a Latina changed your life?

Have you had an experience with a Latina woman that you’ve never experienced with anyone else?

Post your comments!

Thoughts from the Men in the audience; but women can chime in too

A group of us fellas were just hanging out and having conversation when one said that his ex-wife and 24 year old daughter were visiting his town and he asked his current wife if it were okay for them to spend the night at their home. This started a chain of converstions back and forth. What is your opinion on the matter?

Unappreciated Men

What is the #1 complaint men have about their women? Is it lack of respect, support, attention, or too much nagging?

Thursday, December 9, 2010

"birth control pill”

Would you put your daughter on the “birth control pill” if she asked for it or shared with you she was thinking about being sexually active?

Novelty Items

Abstinence Does It Work?

Why do some parents Only believe in teaching abstinence? Does that work?

Novelty Items


Isn't a man being in a relationship because of a woman's "beauty" and a woman being in a relationship because of a man's "money" the same?

Novelty Items

Friday, November 19, 2010

Triple Clit Flicker ~ Would You Use This Product?

Does vaginal tightness or vaginal sensation Matter?

Would you stay if you discovered that your woman was attracted to women too?

Your woman said she would love you and only you. But you just found out that you're not the only one that can "tickle her fancy." Your girl likes girls! Like any man, you think, "Hooray! It's time for that threesome!" But on the other hand, what if she leaves you for a woman because you just don't do it for her anymore? While many men think this couldn't possibly happen to them, many women will tell you that it can and will.

What would you do if you found out that your woman liked women?

Would you leave or stay?

Tuesday, October 26, 2010



Sexual health and function are important determinants of quality of life. Disorders such as erectile dysfunction (ED) and female sexual dysfunction are becoming increasingly more important as a result of the aging US population and newer therapies. Because this subject is discussed widely in the media, men and women of all ages are seeking guidance in an effort to improve their relationships and experience satisfying sexual lives.